I’m not feeling very talky lately. I haven’t felt generally “well” in quite a while. I have a stack of inserts about 2 feet high that need organizing, my coupon book needs cleaning out, I’ve still got to get my “stockpile” closet emptied out (so Tim can clean up the flour from that unfortunate mouse incident)…so much to do. I haven’t even been on a political rant in DAYS.
Spring weather is upon us and I want to get out and enjoy it. I just don’t. I read fanfiction, watch NCIS, Criminal Minds, Criminal Intent, Without a Trace and Bones and look at weight loss sites. I’m not exercising. I just don’t feel like it, damn it.
I went to the doc. He put me on Neurontin and referred me to a specialist. We’ll see if fixing the physical can help the emotional. I just can’t help thinking that if I was at that magical weight (which in my mind is 118) then I’d feel wonderful… the sun would shine, birds would sing, hell, strangers might even burst out in song (ala the Buffy episode “Once More with Feeling”). Logically, I know that being at goal won’t make me well. It’s disordered thinking. I know it. I just don’t know if I can fix it.
OK, enough pity party…..things that make me smile (in no particular order):
Downward trends on the scale
My weenie dog Mickey
Hearing Kiki laughing in her room at some stupid show
Hearing Tim laughing in his room at some stupid show
Diet Coke from Sonic
Dark Chocolate Mint ice cream from Cold Stone Creamery
My warm blankie when it’s raining.
There, see, I ended on a happy note 🙂